I have always been a sexual being. For as long as I can remember I have been interested in sex and the topic and the doing and all things connected to these. I only had sex at the age of 21 because I was convinced that if I should start having sex in high school I would not finish school. I started masturbating at the age of 14. My first kiss was when I was 7. Before this I used to sit on my mother's neck massager, not understanding what I was doing but knowing that it tickled and that I liked it.
I started my sexual activity at the age of 21 and boy oh boy, did I do some hurried catching up!
In December of 2005 I started talking to a guy on the internet. This guy was 20 years my senior and worked in Sudan at the stage. We used to chat 'till the early hours and email erotic stories to each other that we each had to continue and send back as our turns came around. I fully intended to break my virginity with this man but in January of 2006 I met someone else. We shall call him Marko for the purposes of this blog. Marko and I met on the self same dating site that I met (we shall call him Lumber for this blog) on and we immediately hit it off. Naturally I didn't want to tell Lumber that I had met someone so I continued talking with him while Marko and I courted.
Marko was everything I had never seen before - confident, knowledgeable, deviant yet romantic...I thought he had fallen from the heavens and I could not believe he was remotely interested in me. After about a month of courting, we had sex. It was a Sunday morning, on top of the covers with the early morning sun filtering into the bedroom. The light was crisp and cool and the blanket was rough yet pleasant. It didn't hurt at all and I was surprised at this fact. About a week later we broke up.
During all this was Lumber and I planning our weekend in the mountains where he would deflower me. I didn't have the heart to tell him someone had beat him to the punch so I continued the ruse despite my guilt and shame.
Our weekend arrived and it was everything a "first time" should have been - there was candlelit dinner, soft bedding, lingerie and an antique bath, shared the morning after. He was soft, gentle and attentive and it was beautiful. I could half convince myself that this had been my first time.
A little while after this, we broke up.
March 2006 was the turn of Parkie who introduced me to new music, new television series and new sensations. I honestly thought we would form a relationship...until I met Equine. Aaah...Equine. What a thing of beauty she was. See, I had started a dating profile where I listed myself as bi-curious and she offered to show me the ropes...as long as her boyfriend could join. I hesitantly agreed, they collected me from my house, stuck me in a jacuzzi and thus occurred my first threesome. This, while I was seeing Parkie. Naturally, Parkie and I soon parted ways following my experience with the couple and I was freshly single.
Before I move on to May I have to mention that there was another someone I was chatting to during all of this and we shall continue with the name he has on the other blogs of mine: The Muse. Dear gods, the Muse. The tale of the Muse and I carries on 'till today so I will not go into too much detail at this point in time. The basic outline was that I saw his profile on the dating site, felt like he could never love someone like me, risked it and added him and waited with bated breath for his reaction. He accepted, we chatted, we clicked something fierce and the conversation moved to texting.
This was in February, if I recall correctly. We met in June at a mall and it was glorious. We courted for four months after which he broke the news to me that we cannot be together anymore and a week or so after that I met the Fuckwit and we had our time together.. Oh oh - I almost forgot Skinny in May! We saw each other for a spell before I met the Muse in the flesh and realised I couldn't carry on lying to the poor man so I bid him farewell. After having had sex with him in all sorts of strange places. The Fuckwit and I were a fairly normal couple, albeit a tad destructive so that ended on a rather bad note. We are still friends ten years after the fact so I suppose it couldn't have been all THAT bad.
2007 was the time for (also from the previous blog) New Guy. New Guy was a strange man, a strange man who gave me the permission I needed to be whoever I wanted to be, sexually. He was a giant of a man with broad shoulders and an even broader mind and he taught me many things about myself. He was the first to touch me in such a way that it rained from my vagina and it was magical. It didn't last long, this dalliance but it was magnificent. Our friendship ended this year, sadly. There was Metal after New Guy, there was the guy who basically date raped me, there was Stormy and there was Dweller and there was Equine again and all these happened intertwined with each other and the "friends with benefits" arrangement the Fuckwit and I had.
Like I said - I had catching up to do.
Things calmed slightly after 2007. In 2008 I met Count and we were together for three years. After him I moved back in with my mother and met Button who was my BDSM slave for about a month. After him I met Tink who was my girlfriend for a further three months. After that I met Jack, we did a shitload of drugs and the relationship crashed most splendidly late 2009.
In 2010 I decided that seeking love might be the reason why I was not finding it so the only thing that happened in the following three years was occasional drugs and drug-fuelled sex with my bi-sexual friend at the time.
In 2013 I thought I had abstained from dating long enough so I created a dating profile and again and met someone who I had sex with in my brother's bar, bent over a bar stool. Soon after that I told him I was under debt review and he subsequently broke up with me. Later that year a friend from school contacted me via Facebook. We met that night for the first time in 13 years and we spoke 'till the wee hours - telling each other everything we didn't want the other to know. We drank too much, engaged in some fumbling foolery on the floor of my brother's bar and I ended up passing out in his arms.
He is my Prince, and today we are Swingers.
Which brings me (finally) to the meat of the matter - I recently became a swinger and I am loving every second of it.
When I first met a swinger (while at a naturist resort) I was curious as to what it entailed but quickly followed my mother's damnation and decided they were dirty heathens, to be shunned and scorned.
Now, I don't know how swinging feels to other people or why other people enjoy the lifestyle but I have realised what it means to me. I'll get to that later.
I joined the site in October last year but only attended and event much later and the first couple of times I was there, nothing happened. There were no people nagging me for sex, no men whistling at me, no women grabbing their men tighter as I walked past, no men (or women) propositioning me for anything, not even conversation. I was not impressed but simultaneously I was relieved. I had expected to be dodging bullets all night but what I found was that people pretty much kept to the people they usually interact with - nobody really bothered with the newbies and it actually made me feel safer. Bored, but safer.
The first time I had any kind of sexual contact at the swingers club was with my Prince and we left the door open. I had always suspected I was slightly (ok, ok, extremely) exhibitionistic but after this night I was 100% sure. Voyeuristic exhibitionist, what a combo. The second time I went to the club I had my first orgy. Just last night I was telling Prince that I really love orgies. I then proceeded to laugh with surprise when I realised what I had said. Never ever have I ever thought that those words would escape my lips and yet...I should have known. How my polyamorous tendencies eluded me for so many years heaven only knows but at last I have come into myself. Pardon the pun.
So I am a Swinger. In the Lifestyle. Polyamorous and Pansexual. Whoda thunkit.
